Brothers of Gondor: Love and Grief
by BadLittleGirl
Summary: Two little pieces of mine, written for the Brothers of Gondor zines. Mainly showing Faramir and Boromir's close relationship, written around Boromir having fallen in love.
1. Love

**Genre: **General  
**Rating: **PG  
**Summary: **Faramir is wondering about his brother who has been meeting a lady quite often lately. Could Boromir have fallen in love? What actually is love?  
Brothers' conversation about love.  
**Featuring: **Boromir, Faramir  
**Disclaimer: **Nothing's mine, everything's Tolkien's. 

**Author's Note: **Story has been written for the _Brothers of Gondor Zines _of _wwwmenofgondordotcom. _(obviously FFnet doesn't like the link) Complete zines can be read there.  
These two pieces are my first attempts in English that I've been published online, so I have to thank Lilan and Cressida for helping me with their corrections on it. I hope you all like it and the language is acceptable.

* * *

**Love

* * *

**

A tall man entered the room that was lit by the fire's warm shine and sank into a chair near the fireplace.  
The person sitting in another dark-red armchair let a worn-looking book drop onto his lap and watched his brother, who had closed his eyes for an instant.

"Reading again?", Boromir asked casually.

A faint smile appeared on Faramir's face. "Ever, you know."  
He paused and they sat quietly for some time, neither of them saying anything. They both watched the flames flickering within their man-made home until Faramir spoke again.

"And where have you been the whole evening?"

"In the gardens," Boromir slowly answered.

The younger one lifted his head looking into his brother's tired face. "Alone?"

"No," came the not very detailed answer.

"You have been out not alone quite often lately," Faramir remarked.

"Quick noticing you are, dear brother." There was the hint of a laugh in Boromir's voice.

"But I am right, am I not?", Faramir wouldn't give up.

"Yes, certainly, you are right."

"Then you are still not tired of meeting her?"

"Of course not," Boromir said defensively.

"Well, I asummed that," Faramir returned smiling.

"Aye, and why are you grinning in such a foolish manner now? Is there something wrong?"

"Oh, no, I just wondered what was so special about this woman making you not wish to meet other women but her anymore. I remember you being ever very eager to spend time with more women than just one." Faramir kept smiling with a knowing look in his eyes.

Boromir looked annoyedly at him. "Maybe, but what is the matter with it?", he snapped.

"Do not get angry, brother. Remember it is me, you do not have to justify or to hide anything from me," Faramir said softly.

Boromir was already about to give a heated answer, but then he changed his mind and closed his mouth again. He glanced at Faramir, then watched his own hands.

"All right, all right, you are right. I have been meeting her quite often lately. I have wondered myself about it, but I do not know what's happening either. It is just – I feel good with her. I like meeting her. Like it very much." He stopped, searching for some reaction in his brother's face.

The latter now looked more serious as he spoke again. "You like her very much, do you not?"

"I do. She is really special. So very gentle-hearted, though passionate too. And she listens to what I say. She is truly interested in it. She does not just listen to be polite. And she can be very amusing, you know. You should have seen her talking about that – " He broke up at the look in Faramir's eyes.

"What is it?", Faramir asked.

Boromir hesitated. "Nothing – you just looked at me in a somehow strange way…"

"Did I? Well, I was just considering if … if you might have fallen in love with her …," he said in a low voice.

His brother looked at him in surprise. "You think that?"

"Well, yes, indeed. It is the way you are talking about her. You seem to be relaxed when you are telling what she is like and how she acts. And happy somehow."

"You are the first to notice that," Boromir was obviously irritated by his brother's statement for he seemed not to know what to say.

"Maybe I simply know you better than others do. I am your brother. So – what do you say? Have you fallen in love with her?"

"I – I do not know. Love … that is a strange thing, is it not?", Boromir was slightly absent-minded.

"You may be right. It is something very vague."

"Indeed. And no one can tell you how it has to feel … "

"I know," Faramir said understandingly. "Listen, if you want to know what I think about it, I can tell you that I have loved few people in my life – you are one of those of course, father as well. I think I have been loving mother too." His eyes darkened though the fire's light was reflected in them. "Therefore I may not be the ideal person to ask, but although these experiences are so few, there is one thing I know. Love is a great word that is used for many kinds of affection, but what is behind is, is definitively greater. And it does not help to think much about it – it just has to be there. And my opinion is that you will know when it is there."

Boromir had eyed his brother closely.

"Why are you so wise sometimes, Faramir? I would really like to know where you have these thoughts from."

"That is not important now, is it?"

"It is. What should I do without a brother like you giving me wise advice?"

"Well, I am sure you would find another solution." Faramir's smiling expression turned serious again. "Now – is it there? Do you know if there is something there for her?"

Boromir remained silent for a few moments, then said in a stronger voice. "I have the feeling there is something, yes. I cannot really define what it is, but something is there, something good. Maybe I should try to find out what it is exactly."

Faramir smiled again. "Do it. I am sure she can call herself a lucky woman if she is able to cause you these feelings, although they are still undefinited."

"Thank you, brother." Now Boromir smiled too. " I would really not know what to do if I had not you to talk about such things. And I shall tell you one thing, I really believe that the person who is able to cause _you_ such feelings is even luckier. I am sure you will find this person soon too."

"And until that day there are you and Father," Faramir added.

"Of course we are there. And we shall be there still when you have found someone, I hope."


	2. Grief

**Genre:** General, Tragedy  
**Rating: **PG13 for OC's death  
**Summary:** Boromir has suffered from a great loss. Is Faramir able to help him to cope with his grief?  
Brothers' conversation concerning grief.  
**Author's Note: **The second piece of my contribution for the Brothers of Gondor Zines. Doesn't neseccarily relate to "Love", but it's nice to read them togehter, I think.

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**Grief **

* * *

The person sitting unmovingly in the hard wooden chair at the bedside watched the woman in the bed absently. His beloved's face was deadly pale, her cheeks were hollow, her lips dry. The thought that she might feel as miserable as she looked was unbearable. He averted his eyes from her and stared at the door. He could not look at her, he could not bear it. But he had to look at her, he had to watch her, every single moment, waiting for her to wake up. He had to bid his farewell._

* * *

Faramir was searching for his brother. Where was he? He had been looking for Boromir in his rooms, in all the Citadel, even in the Gardens and in their favourite tavern, though it was highly unlikely to find his brother in the Gardens, that close to the Houses of Healing, or in the tavern, in the middle of the day. Now he was looking for him in the practice yard. Here he finally found his brother. He was practicing swordplay with one of his friends. His hits were unusualy hard, his partner had to work hard to beat back the attacks. Boromir was a strong man in general, but this time he was hitting on his partner's sword with so much massive energy, one could believe he was not fighting with his friend in a practice yard, but against the enemy on the battlefield._

_In the noise of the swords hitting against each other, Faramir called, "Here you are, brother. I have been searching for you."_

_Without stopping his fight, Boromir shouted angrily, "What do you want?"_

_Faramir remained calm, "To talk to you."_

_"Do you not see I am occupied here?" The next hit was even harder._

_"This is important."_

_When no answer came Faramir walked over to his brother taking his arm._

_Boromir stopped fighting, but snapped angrily at the younger brother, "Do not touch me, Faramir!" He shook off Faramir's arm and was about to continue his practice._

_"Boromir! Stop that. You are doing yourself no good. Stop it. We have to talk."_

_After a moment of hesitation Boromir threw his sword to the ground, a highly unusual action for a man of war who cared very much about his arms, like Boromir was._

_"So – what is it?", Boromir asked impatiently, turning to Faramir._

_"Let us go somewhere else," Faramir said._

_"Sit down," Faramir said in a slightly commanding tone._

_"Do not give me orders!"_

_"Sit down," Faramir repeated._

_Swearing, Boromir sat down onto the stone benche. "So – what is the matter? And hurry up, I do not have much time!", he murmured reluctantly. _

_Faramir sighed quietly before also sitting down onto the benche beside his brother. "That is true. There is not much time left."_

_Boromir stared at him. "What are you talking about?"_

_"You know that. You have to go and see her. Now," Faramir's voice was quiet and gentle, inspite of his authoritative tone._

_"Why? I can do that later," Boromir objected. _

_"You cannot. If you do not go now, it will be too late. I have talked to the healers and so have you. You know she has not much time left."_

_"She has time! She will recover, she will not leave me!", Boromir breathed heavily._

_Reassuringly, Faramir laid his hand onto his brother's arm. "I know it is hard, brother. Very hard. But you have to. For her sake. She needs you in these last moments. And for your sake. You will eternally regret it if you do not bid your farewell to her." _

_"But she will not leave me! She must not!", the elder man exclaimed._

_"You cannot change what has already happened. Accept the destiny. All you can do is ease her way. Do you want her to die a lonely death? Do you not want to be by her side to let her know she is not alone?"_

_Boromir's eyes filled with tears, but he didn't let them escape, "I … I do not know how to live without her … I … I love her," he stammered._

_"I know." Faramir stroke his brother's arm gently. "I know that you love her. Everyone can see. And she is lucky to be loved by a person like you."_

_"Do not call her lucky! Just do not … ", Boromir's voice broke._

_"I am sorry, Boromir. I did not want you to misunderstand me. What I wanted to say is that she can set out for her last journey with the knowledge that someone will always love her. And you should go and remind her of that."_

_"I just cannot … cannot do it." Boromir's shoulders were shaking. _

_"Please, Boromir, please do it. You know that you will regret it forever if you do not. Take the chance and say your farwell to your love."_

_Faramir knew that he had to leave when no answer came anymore. He arose from the benche, gave the hunched figure of his brother one last look and left him alone._

_Boromir would do what was the only right thing to do, hard as it might be. Faramir knew it.  
_

_

* * *

_Boromir averted his eyes from the door, forcing himself to look at her again. She looked so terribly helpless and alone. But the cruelest thing was that she was still incredibly beautiful, despite the circumstances. Her hollow cheeks, her pale skin – all that did not matter, her beauty was so breaktaking that even these grievous traces of illness could not do it anything.  
She was still so beautiful, and the thought of this beauty vanishing in some cold stone-grave was worse than anything else. The imagine of her fair, feathery body degrading was too much. Boromir was about to turn his head away again not to see her beauty any longer, when he saw her eyelids flutter. Very slowly she managed to open her eyes. 

In an instant, Boromir bent down to her, laying his hand gently on her face. He held back the tears behind his eyelides. She needed him now. He had to stay strong to ease it for her.  
"My love," he whispered. "You are awake."

Her words were almost inaudible, yet he knew what she was trying to say. "Boromir."

_

* * *

_Faramir hastened along the hallways. He had just received the news. He had to see Boromir.  
When he had reached the door to their rooms, he paused for a moment to steady his breath. Then he turned the handle-knob carefully and entered the room. 

His brother sat in some armchair in front of the fireplace, head buried in his hands. He did not look up at the sound of the door, but remained in his position.  
Faramir slowly sat down in the chair next to Boromir. He did not say anything, for he knew his brother would speak to him when he was ready.

After a while Boromir lifted his head. There were no traces of tears on his face. This worried Faramir, but he still said nothing.

"She is gone." Boromir's voice was raucous and shaky. "I was with her when passed away." He swallowed hardly. "She died with a smile on her lips."

"She could say her farewell to you. That made her happy at the end," Faramir watched his brother intensively. "Did you cry for her?"

"No."

"You should cry for her. You loved her, love her still. You should cry for your love."

"Do not tell me what I have to do," Boromir answered sharply.

Faramir remained silent for a while, considering what to do. He knew that his brother was not the kind of person to cry when he was sad. He liked it better to turn his sadness into anger.  
But this was something important that demanded for expressing his grief, not trying to surpress it and turning it into other emotions.

"Please, Boromir. Remember – once you told me Father did not cry after mother's death and he has never come to terms with it. I do not want the same happen to you. You must not allow your tears to freeze to a big ice-brick inside you. She was your love and you lost her. Cry over her."

"I do not want to! Do you hear me? I do not want to. I never cry. The last time I did was after Mother's death and I was a child. I am not a child anymore, I cannot just burst into tears when something happens. I have to cope with this loss without tears. You yourself said that I should accept the destiny. This I shall try."  
Faramir knew that Boromir did not truly believe in his harshly spoken words.

He could not come to terms with this loss without dealing with it, and moreover he had not accepted it yet. He simply did not want to show how hurt he was.

Maybe he thought if he did not cry he would not have to admit that he was broken-hearted, and then he could make himself believe he really was not.

"Alas, Boromir. Of course you have to accept the destiny, for you cannot change anything about it. But that does not mean to ignore what happened, to continue with life as usual. Something terrible has happened to you. Everything has changed. You have to realize this.

You have loved her. Do you want this love to turn into bitterness? And it will, I swear. It will, if you try to go on as if nothing had ever happened. You cannot pretend to cope with it. I can see how great your grief is. Why dou you not express it? I know it would be the right thing, and so do you." Faramir tried to keep his voice calm, but in reality he was getting desperate. He was afraid he might not be able to convince his brother of the importnance not of letting his grief consume him, and if that happened, Boromir would never recover from it.

"You do not know anything. Why are you telling me all this? I do not want to hear it. You do not have to tell me that I love her. I do know that! I know that! Do you think that makes it easier?" Boromir's words were angry, but he tried to steady his shaking voice without success.

"Boromir I know, it is this love that makes it so hard. She was your love. You were so happy with her. You wanted to have a family with her. And now she is gone, and all your hopes and wishes are, too. That is the cruelest thing that can ever happen to a person."

Boromir seemed not to want to hear his brother's words, but he could not ignore them. Now Faramir had finally told him the one true thing that Boromir had carried inside him all the time. He had found the one person he had loved, he had wanted to make her a part of his life, had already begun doing it, he had held wishes and hopes for their future together, and now all this was gone at once. He could not deny this truth any longer. With this realization dawning on him, one single tear escaped his eyes. Slowly, it rolled down his cheek, then vanished. Suddenly more tears followed.

Quickly he turned away from Faramir, trying to fight back his tears.

He did not want to cry. Before, he would have been able to cry. When Faramir had told him to see her, he had almost cried. When he had been at her side, he had almost cried. But now – now that everything was over, he did not want to cry anymore. It would be all for nothing.

Yet all the tears came, the tears he had had to hold back for all this time, the tears he was not allowed to let out for appearances' sake, for the sake of strong, being too occupied, for her sake. All these tears came out of him, though he did not want them to come.

Faramir slowly walked over to him, laying a hand on his brother's shoulder.

At the touch Boromir cringed. "Leave me. Leave me alone, Faramir."

"No. I will stay." Now he had finally managed to bring Boromir to the release he needed, he would not leave him alone.

"Go away!", Boromir exclaimed hoarsely.

Faramir did not say anything, but bent down to his brother, embracing him tightly. Boromir grew stiff and tried to free himself from Faramir's arms. "Leave me, leave me, please, Faramir, leave me alone." The words he murmured through his tears were not convincing.

"It is alright, Boromir. You can cry now. I will stay," Faramir whispered gently.

Now the last bit of Boromir's self-control was gone. He was shaking terribly, and Faramir held him even more tightly.

When he finally tried to speak, his words were hardly audible for his sobs. "She left me. She left me all alone, and I love her so much. How shall I go on without her?""You are not alone, Boromir. I know it feels like you were, but I am still with you. " Boromir just sobbed, head on his brother's shoulder.

"It is alright, brother, alright, just cry over her. Do not let your grief eat at you. Cry, it is alright. I am with you. I am by your side."

With that Faramir finished his words, just holding his grieving brother in his arms. That was the only thing he could do for him now.


End file.
